It seems that we have become a nation that lives on the brink of rage. Whether it is whilst we are driving around in our cars, dealing with stresses and strains at work or perhaps even using social media as a soundboard for our frustrations. Anger is only a few steps away. Lets stop the rage!
PUT OUT THAT SHORT FUSE
Everyone has their very own early warning signs that an eruption is on the way. Recognising these signs and knowing how to turn them around is the first step to a calmer you.
For some people there is a tension across their shoulders, others may feel it in the pit of their stomach. No matter where it starts for you, take action there and then.
Take long breaths in and out. If you make your breath out slightly longer than the one in you will start to feel relaxed in no time.
GIVE YOURSELF A GOOD TALKING TO
It may come as a surprise, but one of the biggest “wind-ups” that can affect the way we feel are our own thoughts.
Even in your own mind you can accuse yourself as well as berate the behaviours/reactions that you have made.
Instead try to use positive language in your own thoughts, think about the best way to react and recognise that most of the time things happen and no-one is at fault.
DON’T BACK AWAY FROM YOUR OBJECTIONS
You may think that being calm means walking away when something has got under your skin, however, this is not always the case. Instead in doing this, you could build up resentment that will result in an even more explosive anger then if you had dealt with it in the first place.
Instead you should be able to communicate how you are feeling at that point in time and how you would like to move forward.
It is important to not only think about your feelings but also those of the other person, perhaps they are feeling just as angry as you are and will need to approached calmly and rationally.
RECOGNISE WHEN IT IS TIME TO WALK AWAY
This is particularly true when you are having an argument with a loved one. When you are in the heat of the moment it can seem that both of you want to put your point across anyway you can.
One person may say that they need some space away from the argument but the other may then decide that before they can do it they need to finish off what they need to say. This can just escalate the emotions that are surging through you both.
If your partner asks to walk away from an argument, or you notice that they are showing signs of anger then why not just take a moment to separate (make a cup of tea, go for a walk) and see if you can’t come together to sort it out when you are both calmer.
Hopefully these tips will help you to feel a little calmer in your everyday life. Take some deep breaths, assess the situation and we are sure you will feel great in no time at all!